Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
