ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
