so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
