the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
