This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
