I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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