I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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