And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
