talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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