its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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