he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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