Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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