What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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