Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
