You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
So many bounce houses so little time
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
