Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I just sucked dick on a ferry
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
