There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
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He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
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so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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