Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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