We're like a lot better than the average bears
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I am available for nakedness
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
