hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I enjoy the company of your penis
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
