She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
