Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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