Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
