Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
