Sry I called you an 8
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize
