did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
