How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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