So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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