Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I am midnight drunk by noon
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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