sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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