Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
