He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
