he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
