Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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