we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
