i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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