Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Randomize
