I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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