i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Randomize
