He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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