oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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