I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
