Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
