dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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