i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
