When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
