If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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