Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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