A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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