your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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