I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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