Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
