Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
