If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
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my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
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I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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