She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
