It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I don't deserve a penis
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
