her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.