Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
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