The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
