Do you still have your period?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
