I want to make a zoo with you.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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