It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
