He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
