look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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