Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize