Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
