So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
