I must be too annoying 4 u.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
