I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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